"Karen, when I said for you to give me head, I didn't expect this..."

A look of horror starts to cross over Karen Gillans face as she realises she has seen a certain Head somewhere before...

"Take it home but do not expose it to direct sunlight or feed it after midnight..."

"I've just sneezed on my hand and need to wipe it, stay still, Dearie..."

Idris was rooted to the spot as William Shatners 'Searching For Major Tom' is heard in the background...

"Yes, it is true, us Time Lords do have two willies..."

Katy Manning had tried unsuccessfully to remove the coat-hanger that had got stuck in her mouth... Doctor: "So, Jo, what did those Amazonian tribesmen do to you to make your mouth so stretched...?" Jo: "Thanks for buggering off halfway through my engagement party. I've been lumbered w...

"As you can see Amy, my sonic screwdriver is the same length as my willie...."

The stage hand also moonlighted as a part time obstetrician.....

"I am not going to hurl, I am not going to hurl...." The Doctor could not contain his obsession for stroking brickwork any longer... "Whats that on the ground by my trainer? It looks like dog poo, it smells like dog poo....it tastes like dog poo. Good job I didn't tread in it..."...

Scenery chewing in abundance, hammy performances, all we needed was a bunch of screaming school kids, hyped up on coke and excitement shouting: "He's behind you..." to make it complete. Car-crash panto Doctor Who. Loved it.....

Wipe the reptilian smile off Simon Cowells face this Christmas. A campaign has recently started on Facebook to have the song:"Killing In The Name" by American punk metal band Rage Against The Machine as a Christmas number 1 in the charts. No more will the X Factor with their pre-packaged p...

Malcolm really should have gone to Specsavers...

Lee Evans' 'Japanese Sniper' impression was a wow at the Christmas parties...

"Why, Doctor, these really are X-Ray specs!....."

Sarah Jane could barely stop the house from collapsing as William Shatner,dressed as Santa Claus, walked about on the roof and made his way to the chimney.... "Okay, I've thrust my boobies out as far as I can. £2 a fondle, boys!" Tied to the door, Sarah Jane could only wonder if being assi...

Now that all the wax in the world has been used up, what is Madame Tussauds going to do now?